Keeping Up With The Coal Crew | September 2021
Keeping Up With the Coal Crew is our monthly blog that asks something of the team. In the past we’ve touched on work from home tips and song recommendations. This month I asked each member of the team for a word.
That’s right. We’re rocking a classic mad lib. The following story imagines a zany parallel universe where last night’s Young Professionals Awards went off the rails. Every member of the crew was given the sentence their word appears in with no other context. The following is a story that can only be described as incredibly Coal.
It’s time once again for the most SENSATIONAL event of the year: (adjective from Holly K. Pilcavage) The Young Professionals Awards!
Because the show was at the Garden Drive-in this year, the Coal Crew decided to commute together in an ambulance. (vehicle from Will McHale )
After the unsightly commute, we were starving! (adjective from Samantha Bucher)
We drove the ambulance straight to the drive-up food counter where someone bellowed, “I need some lactose-free mac and cheese and quick!” (food from Sam O’Connell)
The cashier looked at us suspiciously (adjective from Madison Kaminski) and informed us they only had rabbit food. (food from Matt Simoncavage)
With our heaping helping of delicious… rabbit food, we parked the ambulance.
We all watched the screen hungrily. (adverb from Jeremy Brown)
The video that was supposed to start the Young Professionals Awards had been replaced with The Godfather II. (movie from Alex Manganella)
Some people shimmied (verb from Jesse Macko) while others sobbed uncontrollably. (verb from Adam Roberts)
Eventually, the movie mixup was fixed. The real program began.
To everyone’s shock, the surprise host, John Mayer bounded onto the stage. (celebrity from Camaryn Lokuta)
Mr. Mayer set down his guitar and began to toss hot dogs into the crowd. (noun from Travis Antoniello)
Everyone erupted with joy! (emotion from Jay Nguyen)
The award winners were then greeted with a 30 hour-long standing ovation. (length of time from John Martin)
The 2021 Young Professionals Awards will forever be known as the most toothsome (adjective from Jon O’Connell) thing to ever happen at a drive-in.
Congratulations to the real winners of the Young Professionals Awards. You all deserve more than a day’s worth of applause. And remember, stay Coal.
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